The acknowledgement of gender non-conforming pronouns is an important part of the U.D.F.B ethos. For those with limited experience using “non-binary” pronouns, here are a few snippets from various publications discussing some frequently asked questions.
-UDFB Staff
What are gender pronouns?
Gender pronouns are words that indicate a person’s gender like “she, her, hers”, “he, him, his”, “they, them, theirs”, or other pronouns. Everyone has gender pronouns, but this often goes unnoticed for people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Transgender and non-binary older people are those that identify as a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth, and they might choose to change their gender pronouns when they transition away from their birth assigned gender.
Why are gender pronouns important?
Gender pronouns indicate something about someone’s personal identity, and respecting personal identity is important in making people feel welcome, heard, and understood. Respecting the gender pronouns of transgender and nonbinary older individuals is an important step in making them feel included and safe in your agency. Using the right gender pronouns for someone is as important as using the right name. When providing services to someone new, it is best to ask their name along with their gender pronouns.
-S.A.G.E. https://www.lgbtagingcenter.org/resources/pdfs/Pronoun%20Fact%20Sheet_Final.docx.pdf
What is the role of pronouns in acknowledging someone’s gender identity?
Everyone has pronouns that are used when referring to them – and getting those pronouns right is not exclusively a transgender issue. “Pronouns are basically how we identify ourselves apart from our name. It’s how someone refers to you in conversation,” says Mary Emily O’Hara, a communications officer at GLAAD. “And when you’re speaking to people, it’s a really simple way to affirm their identity.” “So, for example, using the correct pronouns for trans and nonbinary peopleis a way to let them know that you see them, you affirm them, you accept them and to let them know that they’re loved during a time when they’re really being targeted by so many discriminatory anti-trans state laws and policies.”
-NPR https://www.npr.org/2021/06/02/996319297/gender-identity-pronouns-expression-guide-lgbtq
How gender pronouns promote inclusivity
Unlike many other aspects of diversity, pronouns are part of everyday conversation. Using the correct pronouns is a way of affirming identity in every interaction. Because of the number of times we use pronouns in a conversation, we can show respect — or disrespect — that many times. Whether you think it’s a big deal or not, gender pronouns are important. Their use has a direct impact on well-being and belonging. A 2016 study found that simply using the correct pronouns raises a person’s self-esteem. Youth who are able to use and be acknowledged by their correct name and pronoun experience significantly fewer symptoms of severe depression.
-Better Up https://www.betterup.com/blog/the-deal-with-gender-pronouns
Nonbinary Defined
Most people – including most transgender people – are either male or female. But some people don’t neatly fit into the categories of “man” or “woman,” or “male” or “female.” For example, some people have a gender that blends elements of being a man or a woman, or a gender that is different than either male or female. Some people don’t identify with any gender. Some people’s gender changes over time.
People whose gender is not male or female use many different terms to describe themselves, with nonbinary being one of the most common (sometimes spelled with a hyphen, as “non-binary”). Other terms include genderqueer, agender, bigender, genderfluid, and more. None of these terms mean exactly the same thing – but all speak to an experience of gender that is not simply male or female. If you’re not sure what a word means, you can usually just ask politely.
-National Center for Transgender Equality https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding
-nonbinary-people-how-to-be-respectful-and-supportive
“You’re only one person! How does that work?”
It’s really, really simple actually. In English, we already use singular “they” all the time when the gender of a person is unknown. Say you see 50 bucks on the ground and pick it up. You might say:
“Oh, someone dropped their money here. I’ll set it aside for them, I bet they are looking everywhere!”
Using gendered pronouns in this situation is awkward and clunky; after all, you wouldn’t say: “Oh, someone dropped his or her money here. I’ll set it aside for him or her, I bet he or she is looking everywhere!” So, we use the singular “they” instead.
When someone uses they/them pronouns, all you have to do is apply that same sentence construction:
“Oh, Desmond dropped their money here. I’ll set it aside for them, I bet they are looking everywhere!”
-Teen Vogue https://www.teenvogue.com/story/they-them-questions-answered
